Bold as a Lion
I have never been a fan of public speaking. I get horribly nervous and I sweat all while freaking out about what I’m going to say. On my Race, when we were told we’d probably have to preach at some point, I secretly prayed that I would never have to. That prayer didn’t get answered and I did have to preach a few times. Like usual, I’d be completely nervous. Consumed by fear and doubt, I would worry about saying the wrong thing or that my words wouldn’t have any kind of impact. What if I represented God the wrong way? What if nobody got anything from what I had to say? What if I failed? Or was rejected? What if I said something stupid? These thoughts would plague me and battle my attempts to trust God to use me and my words as a vessel.
While on this trip, I was told three separate times I might be preaching (though I only actually did it once). But something was vastly different all three times. There were no nerves. There was no fear. There was no doubt. I didn’t question myself or worry about messing up how God wanted to use my words. I felt bold, ready, and even confident. Something in me knew that, though this isn’t something I consider a gift of mine, God would use me how He needed to. I would say exactly what He wanted me to say. And it didn’t matter what anybody listening thought, because I was doing what God asked me to.
The one time I did preach, I knew it was coming. I had a feeling when we sat down with the village church that I would be asked to. I wasn’t prepared. At training we teach racers to have one or two sermons prepared because people are constantly asked to preach on the spot while on the Race. We help them to think of stories or verses in the Bible that have been a huge part of their own stories. I didn’t have any of this with me. No pre-planned sermons, no topics, no stories. I didn’t even know I’d be joining ministry after all. So I prayed, “God, what do you want me to say? If I’m going to preach, You have to give me the words because I have nothing.” He told me to preach on the verses I’ve been memorizing, John 15:1-17. When the time came and I was asked, I got up and started to read the verses, stopping every now and then to expand on what God was saying. I spoke about what I’ve learned in these verses and about the truth I’ve seen. Something even cooler happened when I was done: I was content. I believe in the depths of my soul, that regardless of how I did, I said what God wanted me to. And I was beyond content with that. I was freed from any potential judgments of others.
On my Race God showed me Proverbs 28:1, “The righteous are as bold as a lion.” I didn’t believe that could be true for me at the time. Boldness has seemed so far from me more times than I’d like to admit. And as I’ve walked through many tough places in the last year and a half, fear has been a common theme almost every time. It has plagued me and seeped into my thoughts and fears. Though I’ve been breaking off chains of fear and learning to walk in boldness, I haven’t really been able to see it tangibly in my life. This sometimes made me question how much I was actually growing and how much God was actually doing. But there I was, feeling bold, not an ounce of fear in sight. I was empowered and I was encouraged to see the fruit of walking through hard places and letting go of lies that have held me back.
God is so faithful. He doesn’t bring us to the hard things in life for nothing. He does it so we can find the freedom and confidence we were made for. He does it so we can see how good and glorious He is. He does it because as we break away from what’s holding us back, we become more and more the person He created us to be.
I encourage you to sit with God and ask Him what is holding you back. What is keeping you from being all He created you to be?
“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
(Above are pictures of the area surrounding the mountain village we hiked to in my last blog. This is also where I preached. It was truly in the middle of nowhere and absolutely beautiful!)
I NEED YOUR HELP! In order to continue serving these missionaries, I need people who are willing to join my team and be an essential part of how God is moving. I need to be 50% funded by April 1st. I need about $2,000 more to reach that goal and $5,500 to be fully funded by September 30th. Would you prayerfully consider joining me? THANK YOU!!
